You're sleeping now and all my duties are finally tied up for the day. A mother's work really is never done. Let's catch up on a few things.
In case you were ever wondering, you were very much indeed "wanted." As a child I always wondered if I was planned or an accident. And though I knew I was loved, I was still curious if I was ever a pre-conceived idea in my parents plans. But you, my son, were planned.
If someone were to ask me two years ago if I wanted children it was always a way-to-quick to answer "NO WAY." In fact, on my wedding day I told my bridesmaids that I had tricked your daddy into marrying me by telling him that maybe someday I'll have kids when in fact I had no intentions. True story. I just couldn't see motherhood in my future. Do you know me? I'm a high strung freak. It wasn't that a baby could never fit into my schedule, it's just that I couldn't find a hint of maternal instinct buried in my type A tendencies.
But it very seriously hit me like a ton of bricks one day. I woke up and decided that, damn it, I want a baby NOW. Your daddy was all too pleased. And so there it was. I went off the pill, freaked out about the way my body was reacting for about three weeks only to find out that I was pregnant. Just.Like.That.
The pregnancy? Easiest thing ever. I swear it should be illegal how easy being pregnant with you was. I sometimes forget that every woman is different and that I was very lucky when I try to coerce my friends into having a baby already. "Oh it's so easy. You're only tired for a couple of weeks. Those other women are just being dramatic." Some women just aren't as lucky. I never got morning sickness. I ran up until 37 weeks and worked out every single day until the day you were born. No cravings. No pains. Easy peasy.
I guess you decided to make up for it in labor and delivery. And while I find many womens' birth stories fascinating, it's not something that I'd like to recant. I gave myself hell long enough to go down that road again. You were a week late and after 26 hours of labor born by c-section. Let's leave it at that.
I guess we're all caught up on that. And by the way? I reaaallllly wanted a boy. I was (and still am) so terrified of having a girl. I know mothers-to-be say, it doesn't matter, as long as their healthy, and that's SO TRUE, but come on. We all sway towards one gender. Don't be fooled. Not only were you a boy, but you are healthy, too. Win/Win.
How did I get so lucky, Nolan?
Love,
Mommy
No comments:
Post a Comment